Personal values are the foundation for our whole life. It is not what you want or wish for, and it is not what everybody around you have or want, it is the standards, desirable qualities, or principles you can not live without, for example the belief in hard work or the concern for other people. Without them you would feel empty and puzzled. A person who does not know his or her values might seem confused and be waking around in life, not knowing what his or her purpose in life really is.
Knowing you personal values give you a feeling of completeness and serenity. It will be easier to make better decisions, and you will be more likely to select the way that leads you to long-them goals instead of short-time benefits. In addition, you will be more capable of finding suitable things, people and places, which support you way of life.
We often tend to live according to our values, because values are a vital part of our lives and placed in a corner, having to select from two different choices we instinctively select the one the feels right for us. Values can both be something we are consciously aware of or something which are influencing us from our subconscious.
We often inherit some of our values from parents and family, while we are greatly affected by people we spend parts of our life with, like teachers and friends, and by material things, like TV and internet. Our values often reflect our background and the place we come from, and our generation.
It is easy to take the short-cut and think that everyone has the same values ana opions as yourself, but it soon becomes clear that this is not the case. For that reason conflict and fight between people caused by different values are common. If your personal values are changed or violated you will most likely feel hurt and will try to protect your values from further damage, and you might try to impose your own values on others. In this situation it is important to keep in mind how you would feel if someone tried to do the same to you.
To learn to know your values is the foundation for development and growth. A life based on values gives meaning and makes it easier to find the purpose of life. At first it might seem effortless to determine you own personal values, but you well soon see that it is much harder than it seems. The first thing you need to do is to write down a list of all the values which you can not imagine living without. Afterwards you need to go to the list and ask you self why you wrote down exactly this and that value. In the end you should be left with a list with no more than five or six core values.
“ You respond to a frantic knock on the door and see a young girl, perhaps eight years old, with a boy about four. The boy is choking and the girl, obviously his sister, is frightened. Without thinking you pick up the boy, turn him upside down, and firmly rap him several times on the back with the palm of your hand. A whole piece of hard candy that was blocking the boy's airway pops out and the boy takes several deep, grateful breaths. In that rewarding moment you display the values of bravery, helpfulness, responsibility, and problem-solving action.”
Above is an excellent example of how different is used and why they are some important, not only in you everyday life, but also in critical situation as the one above. Without any values what so ever you would probably feel unable to act and the little boy might not survived.
You might have noticed that it is easy to motivate yourself to do something when you follow and stay true to your values. Things which are important to you, express your values. On the other hand, you values can change over time, and what might have been important to you as a child, might be of no importance to you as an adult. Despite this strong feeling is attached to values. That is the feeling of importance. Over goals are attached to our values, ergo values is the thing we want to achieve, while our goals is how we achieve them.
To act against your values can lead to the feeling of stress and anger, while living in harmony with your values balances you life and gives you the feeling of satisfaction. Studies show that the majority of people who are burnt-out, are suffering from stress causes by conflicts between their own personal values and the values they have to follow at their workplace or other institutions.
For this reason it is important to figure out your own values before put yourself in a job situation, in which your values are not appreciate. As an example I would like to mention the hotel- and service industry, in which some of the core values are tolerance, respect for others, collaboration, satisfying others and service. A person who is self-centred, clearly not a team worker and who has no interest of pleasing others, is clearly not a person who would be disable in this industry. On the contrary, a person who is caring, cooperative, and who’s greats wish is to make others happy, would be perfect.
As you see our personal values and belifes has a great impact on how we live our lives and who we handle different situations, and the only road to finding yourself is by living your and honouring you values.
”Your greatest gift to humanity is to be who you really are.”